


Double Trouble

by Anonymous



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, i don't want to spoil it but they have fun if you know what i mean ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 16:16:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12172389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The boys go on a double date of sorts and it ends up being a great night for everyone involved.





	Double Trouble

Poe kisses Finn passionately, smiling at him when he pulls away. "I love you, Finn."

"I love you too but I don't think this is a good time, babe." Finn looks down at the two men tied up and laying at their feet.

"Actually, I think this is a great time." Poe steps over Hux, his foot catching on Hux's abdomen by accident. Probably. Luckily it didn't matter because Hux had a gag on. He wraps his arms around Finn, careful to avoid the blaster still aimed to their side. "My boyfriend and I just caught two of the most vile pieces of shit in the entire galaxy, that's something to celebrate."

"You have a good point there, maybe we could -"

Kylo tries to lift his hands up to use the force but Finn, who is brilliant and already has a better sense of the force than Mr. Hot Topic even though he's only been training for a few months, catches him. He rests one boot on top of Kylo's hands. "Nice try dipshit."

Kylo screams at them from behind his gag.

"What was that? We're not going to get you?" Poe looks around the room, empty save for the four of them. "That's weird, I thought we already got you. But people tend to think I'm really stupid and helpless about anything that isn't sex even though I'm canonically a skilled pilot and leader of the resistance so maybe I'm wrong. Finn, am I wrong?"

"Nope." He pops the 'p'. "We already got them, and I already got the information we needed. It was surprisingly easy to do even though Kylo's supposedly been training in the force for like, decades longer than me."

"I wouldn't know, we never met until he kidnapped and tortured me on Starkiller." Poe shrugs. "Thank kriff my parents never let me hang out with him."

Finn nods. "He's the worst."

"The worst! Genuinely a really bad dude, he killed his own  _dad_ , but he's also just so embarrassing, you know? Can you imagine being a grown man that mass murders an entire village and also throws temper tantrums?"

"Can't relate. Like, at all." He looks down at where Kylo's totally failing to get out from under his boot. Next to Kylo, Hux is staring at them with his sweaty red face. "He kind of looks like a tomato fucked a clown."

Poe bursts out laughing. "He looks like if the IT monster got sick and couldn't shit for five days."

"He really is a monster too, considering the whole genocidal dictator thing."

Poe nods. "Yeah, he's real fucked up. I can't imagine who would be into someone like that, like what kind of person would find someone that was very overtly potrayed as a genocidal dictator?"

"A racist? Somebody that doesn't give a shit about the characters but just wants two white guys to fuck? Someone that wants to write about their fucked up kinks without having to answer to anyone?"

Poe grins. "Okay, I walked into that one."

"No I get it, I wish it was unthinkable." Finn sighs. "I can't imagine being a grown adult that thinks that kind of shit is okay."

Poe nods. "I can't tell you how much I hate that people do that to us too, but at least we're good characters."

"We're  _great_ characters. We've both done amazing things and have overcome a lot of fucked up stuff thanks to these two assholes. I can't wait to see the both of us thrive and bring peace to the galaxy after everything these shitheads have done."

"Especially you, Finn. I can't imagine growing up in the first order and maintaining any humanity at all, let alone still being the compassionate, brilliant man that you are."

He really wants to kiss his boyfriend again.

Hux grunts, an ugly, unpleasant sound that really represents the man the noise comes from.

"I'm pretty tired of this. We have everything we need, yeah?"

Poe nods.

They aim their blasters at the two piles of human garbage on the floor. "Any last words?"

Neither of them bother waiting for an answer.

 

Epilogue

The galaxy was much, much, much better off without Hux or Kylo in the galaxy because they're both super evil and gross people.

Poe and Finn get married and are deeply in love in a healthy way and never think about Hux again because he's such a minor character that there's just no reason to, and they only remember Kylo as the perfect example of what not to be like if you're force sensitive or just want to be not a huge piece of shit.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed :)


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